I have 474 awesome things to do! Here they are:
-Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a bed of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your pillow X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
- Calmly have a nervous breakdown
- Give your goldfish a perm
- Fly a brick
- Play tag...on West 35th Street
- Exorcise a ghost
- Exercise a ghost
- Be blue
- Be red
- But don't be orange
- Plant a shoe
- Sweat
- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
- Turn
- Write a letter to Plato
- Mail it
- Take your sofa for a walk
- Start
- Stop
- Dial 911 and breathe heavily
- Go to a funeral...tell jokes
- Play the piano...with mittens on
- Scheme
- Sit
- Stay
- Water your family room
- Cause a power failure
- Roll over
- Play dead
- Find a witch
- Burn her
- Donate your brother's body to science
- Ask why
- Wriggle
- Regress
- Sleepwalk without sleeping
- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail
- Wonder
- Be a square root
- Ask stupid questions
- Weld your car doors shut
- Spew
- Vacation at Three-Mile Island
- Surf Ohio
- Teach your pet rock to play dead
- Go bowling for small game
- Be a monk...for a day
- Wear a sweatband to your wedding
- Staple
- Run away
- Intimidate a piece of chalk
- Abuse the plumbing
- Bend a florescent light
- Bend a brick
- Annoy total strangers
- Let the best man win
- Believe in Santa Claus
- Throw marshmallows against the wall
- Hold an ice cube as long as possible
- Adopt strange mannerisms
- Blow up a balloon until it pops
- Sing soft and sweet and clear
- Sing loud and sour and gravely
- Open everything
- Balance a pencil on your nose
- Pour milk in your shoes
- Write graffiti under the rug
- Embarrass yourself
- Grind your teeth
- Chew ice
- Count your belly button
- Sit in a row
- Stack crumbs
- Gesture
- Save your toenail clippings
- Make a pass at your blender
- Punt
- Make up words that start with X
- Make oatmeal in the bathtub
- Search for the Lost Chord
- Chew on a sofa cushion
- Sing a duet
- Balance a pillow on your head
- Hold your breath
- Faint
- Stretch
- Flash your mailman
- Teach your TA English
- Learn to speak Farsi
- Swear in Russian
- Use an eraser until it goes away
- Disassemble your car
- Put it together inside out
- Record your walls
- Interview your feet
- Make a list of your favorite fungi
- Sell formaldehyde
- Repeat
- Ad lib
- Fade
- File your teeth - Whine
- Rake your carpet
- Re-elect Richard Nixon
- Critique "Three's Company"
- Listen to a painting
- Play with matches
- Buff your cat
- Race ferrets
- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange
- Have a formal dinner at White Castle
- Read Homer in the original Greek
- Learn Greek
- Change your mind
- Change it back
- Watch the sun...see if it moves
- Build a pyramid
- Stand on your head
- Stand on someone else's head
- Spit shine your Nikes
- See how long you can stay awake
- See how long you can sleep
- Paint your teeth
- Wear a salad
- Speak with a forked tongue
- Paint stripes on a lake
- Ski Kansas
- Sleep in freefall
- Kill a Joule
- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
- Apply for a unicorn hunting license
- Do a good job
- Crawl
- Invite the Mansons over for dinner
- Paint your windows
- Watch a watch until it stops
- Flash your goldfish
- Paint
- Flirt with an evergreen
- Smile
- Rotate your garden...daily
- Paint a smile
- Shoot a fire hydrant
- Apologize to it
- Pretend you're blind
- Annoy yourself
- Get mad at yourself
- Stop speaking to yourself
- Be a side effect
- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley
- Duck
- Redecorate...your garage
- Develop a complex
- Join the Army...be someone simple
- Try harder
- Hit the deck
- Put leg-warmers on your furniture
- Cut the deck
- Crumple
- Translate Shakespeare into English
- Skydive to church
- Cheer up a potato
- Do aerobic exercises...in your head
- Play cards with your swimming pool
- Pinstripe your driveway
- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant
- Harness chipmunk power
- Build a house with ice cubes
- Call London for a cab
- Mug a stop sign
- Change your name...daily
- Go for a walk in your attic
- Challenge your neighbor to a duel
- Build a house out of toothpicks
- Howl
- Wear a lampshade on your head
- Memorize the dictionary
- Stomp grapes in the bathtub
- Find a bug and chase it
- Make yourself a pair of wings
- Be immobile
- Dance 'til you drop
- Check under chairs for chewing gum
- Squish a loaf of bread
- Moo
- Bounce a potato
- Outmaneuver your shadow
- Climb the walls
- Appreciate everything
- Challenge yourself to a duel
- Make napalm
- Tattoo your dresser
- Watch a bowling ball
- Buy some diapers
- Eat everything
- Begin
- Pour milk in the sink
- Make cottage cheese
- Tie-dye your sheets
- Carpet your ceiling
- Hold your earlobes
- Fold your earlobes
- Flap
- Squawk
- Read tea leaves
- Analyze the Koran
- Be Buddha
- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
- Plug in the cat
- Turn on everything
- Drop pebbles down the chimney
- Turn off your neighbor
- Kill a plant
- Buy a 1931 Almanac
- Memorize the weather section
- Think lewd thoughts about yourself
- Blow bubbles
- Send chills down your spine
- Peel grapes
- Make paper from the skins
- Bloat
- Catch them with your radiator
- Get run over by a train of thought
- Make up famous sayings
- Bite your pinkie - Get your dog braces
- Shave a shrub
- Have a proton fight
- Watch a car rust
- Quiver
- Rotate your carpet
- Learn to type...with your toes
- Set up your Christmas tree in April
- Be someone special
- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
- Mail it to a friend
- Go back to square one
- Factor your social security number
- Take the fifth
- Memorize a series of random numbers
- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
- Join the Foreign Legion
- Learn Sanskrit
- Exist...existentially, of course
- Print counterfeit Confederate money
- Kick a cabbage
- Take a picture
- Put it back
- Sandpaper a mushroom
- Play solitaire...for cash
- Abuse your patio furniture
- Run for Pope
- Count to a million...fast
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
- Revert
- Think shallow thoughts
- Starch your shoes
- Polish your Calvin's
- Contemplate a cockroach
- Get a dog to chase your car
- Let him catch it
- Investigate the Czar
- Form a political party
- Climb a sidewalk
- Have a political party
- Get diagonal...with a good friend
- Ride a loaf of bread
- Sharpen a carrot
- Interrogate a gerbil
- Go bow hunting for Toyotas
- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
- Jump back
- Play to lose
- Scalp a street light
- Have your car painted...plaid
- Read a tomato
- Sharpen your sleeping skills
- Watch a game show...take notes
- Put out a fire
- If you can't find a fire, make one
- Interview a cloud
- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood
- Play basketball...in a minefield
- Don't talk to things
- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling
- Have your cat bronzed
- Have your gerbil gilded
- Write books about writing books
- Create random equations
- Mispell words
- Tell your feet a joke
- Throw a tomato into a fan
- Sing the ABC song backwards
- Pretend you're a dog
- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it
- Grease the doorknobs
- String up a room
- Stack furniture
- Relive fond memories
- Tie your shoelaces together
- Gargle
- Count your teeth with your tongue
- Decay
- Find your half-life
- Design a better toilet seat
- Shred a newspaper
- Have a headache
- Scratch
- Sniff
- Hatch an egg
- Play air guitar
- Act profound
- Spill
- Spell
- Stare
- Truncate
- Slouch
- Develop hearing problems
- Put your feet behind your head
- Tie bows in everything
- Hold your hand
- Watch the minute hand move
- Grow your fingernails
- Pretend you're a telephone
- Ring
- Radiate
- Skip
- Play hopscotch...with real scotch
- Clock the velocity of your REMs
- Put your shoes on the opposite feet
- Cross your toes
- Roll your tongue
- Crystallize
- Baby oil the floor
- Hide
- Attack innocent bunnies
- Declare war
- Destroy a tree
- Hide the scrabble bag
- Seduce your stick shift
- Wink
- Memorize the periodic table
- Mummify
- Pretend you're a roadie
- Buy a Ginsu knife
- Collect electrons
- Correct typos that aren't there
- Polish your neck...use Pledge
- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car
- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet
- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes
- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture
- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending
- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother
- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong
- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire
- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before
- Walk on water...but don't get caught
- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
- Be in the wrong place at the right time
- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board
- Request covert assistance from the CIA
- Discover the source of the Mississippi
- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska
- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes
- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is
- Drink as much prune juice as you can
- Write a book about your previous life
- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres
- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock
- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins
- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels
- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow
- Drive the speed limit...in your garage
- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final
- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna
- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check
- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people
- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas
- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster
- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement
- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English
- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good
- job they're doing...On April 1st
- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor
- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them
- Turn your TV picture tube upside down
- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
- Be planar...but don't tell your parents
- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck
- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed
- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed
- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese
- Debate politics with a fern
- See how small you can scrunch your face - Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis
- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)
- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
- Raise professional certified racing turnips
- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation
- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.
- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first
- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch
- Send your goldfish to obedience school
- Free the oppressed toasters of America
- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave
- Park your car...with a friend
- Park your car...with a group of friends
- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
- Place it on the wall of your office
- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)
- Contribute to the population problem
- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign
- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway
- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
- Play with anything that looks interesting
- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work
- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like
- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house
- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while
- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green
- Bronze your sister's turtle
- See how long it takes for her to notice
- See what she does when she notices
- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
- Increase your territorial holdings by force
- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
- Boldly go where no man has gone before
- Be a threat to the American way of life
- Do research into the cause of World War III
- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh
Here are more fun things to do but at Walmart:
As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.
Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
Play with the automatic doors.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.
Take bets on the battle from above.
Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.
Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
Or think of these to do when you have nothing to do:
Work on your web page
Learn to whistle 14.4/28.8 bps sounds
Juggle everything you can find
Flip through that old UNIX manual
Read over the "membership policy" for your ISP
Vote.
Format all those AOL disks you got in the mail
Defrag your hard drive (example)
Write a mIRC script
Spend hours looking for spelling mistakes on this site
Eat Spam
Watch "The Sound of Music" (warning: only if REALLY bored!)
Spell your name with mustard all over the street
Search for space anomalies
Sit around all day watching Leave it to Beaver
Jump up! Start running! Don't stop!
Click here (read this warning first)
Answer the phone in a funny accent
Register a bunch of useless channels on NewNet
Email an old friend
Format your HD, FDISK it, and then re-install your OS
Use your super-powerful Pentium 200 MMX with 128 megs of RAM to play Solitaire
Empty the Trash/Recycling Bin without looking what's it in first
Think up brand-new ways to insult AOL users
Think up brand-new ways to insult Mac users
Think up brand-new ways to insult AOL users that own Macs
Play Civilization/Privateer/Dune2 until 7 am
Help my cousin via email with her programming homework
Procrastinate
Learn new and exciting words by reading the dictionary
Sleep
Pull the heads off sheep (but not live ones...that's sick)
Sing The Song That Never Ends (hello Yahoo! people?!?! Useless Page Alert!!)
Read some of my favorite comics
How about some interesting Quotes that I've collected?
How about some MORE interesting Quotes (psst, most of these are funny)
How about my Quotes Page
Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course)
Annoy my cousin who FINALLY got on the 'net
Have a movie marathon
Gather a pile of old books, close your eyes, toss out the books one by one, and read the last one remaining cover to cover in one sitting
Email this PUNK about his lame choice of an email address :)
Scan pictures for people at work
Call your ISP's tech support, and tell them this: "I can't get internet, I have a message about a DSN computer. I don't know what kind of modem I have, but it's on IRQ 13...HELP ME!"
Buy part of the Moon
Or get into the hype, and buy part of Mars
Email me your suggestions about what kinda computer to get (got a new one now! :))
Translate the Bible into Huttese (that'll show those Klingon freaks)
Learn to swear in Russian, German (thanks Mary-Ann), Spanish, French, and sanskrit (then email them to me)
Spend a few hours creating a web page in worship of your girlfriend/boyfriend/lover/husband/wife/... other
Check out my pal Kattz's homepage (it's cool, but she's got WAY too many movies)
Play with some LEGOS
Leave the planet
Crash your WinPopups (then send a global saying "pops crashed...please resend.")
Learn to play the kazoo
Go to a random AT&T Worldnet users web page
Discover the Answer to the Ultimate Question....then the Question itself....
Laugh at these poor sods with crappy computers
Play Second Conflict
Listen to alien signals from Vega
Build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles
Study neurosurgery *OR* go to see the Care Bears movie (you can only pick 1)
Go see The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota
Grow a huge 'fro and go around imitating Screech from Saved By The Bell (and then email this guy...he actually did it)
Open as many Netscape / Internet Explorer windows as possible
Spend hours rebuilding your system after it crashed doing the last thing
Play the original NES version of Tetris (can you go from level 1 all the way to level 19???)
Send yourself for pizza (note: people with clones only)
Read through a stack of OLD computer magazines (I've got some as far back as 1991 if you want to borrow them)
Register useless domains for FREE at Monolith (or not...)
Check out the Infini-D Resource Page now on ZUTROY.COM!!
Go to the Mecca of Albino Squirrels
Stalk someone
Overclock your CPU to 900 mhz (it's safe...REALLY...just don't take my word for it)
Buy some pez...mmm, pez (it's not too expensive....here's how much it costs in Canada)
Spend a few hours staring at the moon & stars (binoculars help, but no peeping at neighbors...well just a bit)
Work on your Russian accent
Listen to your favorite CD (or tape, or record, or 8-track for you technologically impaired) over and over and over....
Check out this page BACKWARDS!! (fixed this link...thanks to this bored person who's email address doesn't work...oh, fixed it, works now!)
Eat some twinkie-weiner sandwiches ©
Crash your system at Fabienne's site (got me twice!)
Organize your floppy/ZIP disks
Arrest yourself
Understand Simple logic (Windows 95 = MacOS 84, but MacOS 97 = Windows 95)
Read about the Simpsons Episode that had Zutroy in it!
Take your hamster to the beach
Find the longest URL you possibly can! (here's mine)
Figure out the words to the Weird Al Show Theme Song! (here is what Isotropy and I got...and here's Julie Cross's version)
Buy a souvenier miniature Ball of Twine
Go swimming
Go to your local museum, and try to get kicked out
Water the lawn (and spray annoying siblings)
Spend all day in the basement torturing rats with a hacksaw (you read the disclaimer first right??)
Eat as many pieces of toast, loaded with tons of peanut butter, as you can
Learn to play the bagpipes
Phone in sick (but make sure your story is at least 57.6% believable)
Go to Wal-Mart
Slam your head against the wall
Count the # of "Weird Al" Yankovic references up to this point (one per point) -- here's the answer
Here's one more Weird Al reference - Wind up twenty one thousand, one hundred and forty pounds of string
Join Columbia House Canada, or for you Americans Columbia House (I don't know if they take international orders)
pssst...I'm in the Columbia House Video Club!!!
Read the coolest poems ever written
Look for hidden messages on web pages
Check the the 5-Day Weather Forcast for Gorky
Eat some Crispy Wheats & Raisins cereal
Read this joke that Fifi just emailed me
Check out bored.com....they were so bored, they registered the domain (lotsa cool links there!)
Whine about something (browser crashes is a good place to start)
Register some shareware (ha!)
Phone Home
Take an IQ Test
Email bomb yourself (fun isn't it Tim??)
Read a Gordon Korman book
Take a few hours out of your life to wonder how an aarkvark spends his days
Drag your Windows directory to the Recycling bin (or for you Mac guys...drag your System Folder to the trash), restart, and try to fix it
Check out this page...created by possibly the most bored guy on Earth
Take a look at my most hated animated GIF
Shamelessly try to win awards for your web page (*hint hint*)
Put your Bat's in the Bellfree (explanation)
Join the Spam Club
Try to make reservations at McDonalds
Dare to be Stupid
Play leapfrog with a unicorn (let me know if you find a unicorn, so I can sell it to some zoo for tons of $$$)
Spend hours downloading large files, then delete them, download, delete....lather, rinse, repeat.
Clone yourself
Send me your WININET.DLL file from your c:\windows\system directory (only if you've installed IE4.0)...mine's corrupt. (update: got a copy that works! Thanks anyways...)
Check out the History of Apple
Then eat some apple pie....mmm, apple pie
Spend HOURS checking out the incredibly awesome Voodoo Extreme web site for info on 3D computer gaming
Update the list of links on your web page (assuming you have a web page, if not...THEN MAKE ONE!!)
Watch PBS all day (especially the cool documentary Triumph of the Nerds)
Learn all about the coolest console gaming system ever at The Official Intellivision Home Page
Eat some Ruffles BBQ chips (the best chips in the world!!!)
Come visit us AT&T Canada employees on IRC (/server thompson.ilos.net)
Chomp down some Eggo Waffles
Join AOL
Spend 2 years trying to quit AOL
Buy a hovercraft, and fill it with eels
Check out the BIGGEST PUNK IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE's web page (assuming he's put one up)
Then check out my cousin's web page (wonder if he put it up yet)
And thirdly, check out Zero's Web Page (yes, he's actually got one!!)
Write insanely long, and complicated disclaimers for your web page
Help me shamelessly promote this page
Watch this page grow, and grow
Add a counter to your web page
Yell at the top volume - 'I'm bored!'
Clean your room
Tell everyone how bored you are on The Bored Forum
Blink
Check out the Secret Quake 2 page on the id software site
Rent-A-Nerd
Correct mistakes on your webpage (thanks to a certain someone, that if he has a webpage, I will link to it here)
Turn your Win95 PC into a Mac! Click Here! (thanks KuDorK)
Stay connected to your ISP for a week straight (and receive nasty emails from them)
Grab your Star Wars Soundtrack, crank it to max volume, and listen all night
Read every FILE_ID.DIZ file on your HD, but never, EVER delete them...they are sacred (hehehe)
Stick your head in a microwave, and get yourself a tan
Create fake Web Page Awards at Aprilfools.com (and I didn't fall for it Mr. Todd Gack whoever you are)
Go buy The Best of Meco CD...featuring disco versions of select Star Wars tracks!! (which I borrowed from Isotropy and am listening to right now)
Nag that guy at work (you know who you are) to bring back your XvT CD that you lent him back in May.... (oh! He brought it back 08/18/97!! *faint*)
Check out this this banner that Scott from work made for me (hehehe, I'm not a viking)
Take a week of vacation from work to just sit at home and watch tons of movies
Listen to this clip of Star Wars Theme in a weird but cool disco theme (from The Best of Meco CD I mentioned a few thingies ago)
While you're at it, check out this clip of "Weird Al" Yankovic practicing his German
Download a copy of mIRC v2.1a (the first publically available version) and TRY to get it working
Learn something about yourself
Check out my Star Wars page
Check out The Unauthorized Super-Secret Parody of Star Wars (now available on CD-ROM...I've got a copy!!)
Search for song lyrics at The International Lyrics Server
Delete the Internet (stolen from sCary's Sugar Shack)
Spend a few hours downloading the 1376 emails you "forgot" to delete from your email server over the last 6 months
Play Final Fantasy (the first one for NES) all afternoon (...I only got to level 11...just about to attack Lich)
Play solitaire with your mother
Read another joke sent to me by Fifi
If you speak/read German, translate this email that was sent to me
Take a look at this picture of Weldon...a slacker I work with (whuahaha...for $5 I won't edit it Weldon :>)
Order free CD-ROMs from Microsoft (they just sent me IE 4.0 pp2 on CD)
Go buy the Star Wars: Special Edition Trilogy!! (on sale August 26th in North America)
Read some of "Lisa's" favorite things to do when she's bored
Fix the blinking 12:00 on your VCR (email me if you need help...oops, I've got a blinking 8:47 on my clock...better fix that now :)
Think up inventive ways to avoid eating Tuna Noodle Casserole (yuck)
Discover some awesome uses for crates (thanks Golden Mongoose)
Buy a new computer from G.E.C.S.
Earlier I posted my most hated animated GIF, now here's my favorite (from Blue's News)
Watch all 3 Star Wars Special Edition videos in a row (good thing I took the day off work)
Check out The Tribute to Screech
Practice parallel parking (and also practice spelling parallel)
Make a new banner for your web page
Waste 15 minutes driving to the mall on a hot tip from your sister that HMV is selling the Star Wars Special Edition Widescreen version, only to get there and the mall is closed (bummer)
Eat tons of Corn Pops cereal just to get the free Batman & Robin tatooes
Plaster those free tatooes all over your body
Make another new banner for your web page
Scan the Star Wars Special Edition Trilogy boxes (front and back)
Read this parody script of a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers episode (hint: do a search for "zutroy")
Talk on your cell phone, rack up huge bills
Drop to a DOS prompt, and keep typing "cls" until your brain explodes
Make another another new banner for your web page
Pop yourself a beer
Start a scam selling Attack Jelly
Pack
Take a look at the various banners I've made for mine and other web pages
Make yourself think, read this "story"
Take a look at Just The Facts
For the truly bored, read about Danielle and her attempt to do lots of the things on this page :)
Load as many programs as you can in an attempt to crash your system (I tried it myself! Here a list of all the programs I had open...0% free resources)
Nuke the The Roop Family Homepage counter :)
Read these jokes from Fifi, then read these (which Fifi assures me are funnier)
Eat some Animal Crackers
Unpack
Nuke The Crazy Counter!!
Read The Raven....nevermore
Visit The Zone, tell em Zutroy sent you
Can you out-shame these people?
Listen to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack
Check out these has-beens
Watch TLC (The Learning Channel) ... there's a good show on lightning right now
Get a free webpage with 15 megs of space!!
Take a look at the Voodoo Extreme webmasters...*shudder*
See if my IRC bud Dragonflu has registered his domain name yet...click here
Place your bets....Mr. T vs. Hanson
Read the Hyper Cosmic Song!
Check out one of my multimedia instructors web pages - click here
Take a spin on the URoulette and visit random groovy and exotic sites
For the teenager in you, check out Teen Talk and meet some new friends (no stalking please)
Flip upside-down and check out the Anti-Gravity Room (almost as cool as it sounds)
Science Rules! Check it out with Bill Nye The Science Guy! (Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!)
If you're weird enough, take a trip to the Strange Universe
Take an EXCLUSIVE sneak-peek at what will be the most incredible movie of all time - Master Of The World
Click HERE to vote for Zutroy's Universe as a Starting Point Hot Site.
Pop Quiz Hot Shot. Name all the HTML Color Hexcodes. Can't? Go Here
Americans dumb? Nooo, really? View the proof
Too Hot for TV...check out the Jerry Springer Video (warning: contains nudity...heh)
Piss off Dr. Math by asking a horrifically impossible question
Get your name in lights at the Netscape Engineering Sign! Just so you know it really works, here's my name in lights
Read these kewl quotes, and also these, these, these, these, and these
Keep yourself busy for a few hours...Click Here
Play tag with a telephone pole
Translate zutroy.com into another language here
Adopt - A - Fluff
Work your way through 258 Things To Do When You're Bored (this list isn't as fun as mine)
Give your brain a workout at Interactive Magic!
Re-do your webpage with frames (standard message, if you don't have a webpage, then make one!!!)
Email Brent Scott to find out how to get into bars for free
Read the online novel Master Of The World by Jules Verne
Convert various currencies to other various currencies here
Check out my totally lame (you've been warned), very FIRST webpage which GeoCities finally deleted :)
Buy the world's most durable bread - Wonder Bread!
Go for a bike ride
Visit the Brent Scott Web Page ©
Sing in the rain
Play trivia on IRC (#trivia on NewNet)
Surf zutroy.com redneck style
Visit the Playground of the Seski One - www.seksi.org
Take a trip to Dee Dee's Wild & Wacky World of Looney Stuff!
Stop what you're doing, flick on the radio, get up and dance!
See if you have more luck with women then this guy (warning: may offend most people)
Read a book till all hours of the night
Plan a trip to Idaho, just so you can watch potatos grow
Re-fill your empty ice cube trays
Brush your teeth with whatever toothpaste you can find
Collect lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of drink can tabs and send them to me
Play Dr. Mario (if you can beat level 20, hi speed, my hats goes off to you....I've only done it once)
Listen to MP3s
Email me with the answer to this question: Are there pink Smarties? (the answers)
Fluff your pillows
Download Linux, the superior, and FREE Operating System
Flame Paul Steed
Watch SouthPark
Curious as to what the weather is like where I live? Click Here
Watch the entire Star Wars Saga in one sitting
Re-do your web page (yes again :P)
Check out my old webpage on Tripod (why don't they ever delete these things?!?!)
Like Southpark? Like Star Wars? Go here
More fun then watching paint dry.....go here to watch the US and World populations grow (thanks trevor)
Email yourself so you can have new mail (thanks Brent!)
Check out the DragonFlu Web Cam (warning: contains vulgarity like this)
Try to find a decent replacement for Notepad that lets you open files larger then 30k! (or just use SSI which is what I did!!)
Inform me about legacy items on this list (ie: overclock a CPU to 900mhz? How old is that?)
Try JustZipIt for no reason other then the author took the time to email me
Help this guy get married to his girlfriend.
Check out my Transcript of Marks from Robertson College
Check out Brent Scott's Transcrpit of Marks from Robertson College
Call Kattz
Fancy a random quote? Click Here
Check out what the name Zutroy means
Set your life's ambition to become a slacker
Lefties of the world unite!
Check out my Created In Unix webpage here
Learn all about Server Side Includes, and include them on your webpage
Send John F. an email saying Thanks! for saving the Stuff to Do if You're bored Page!
Eat saurkraut
Spend 11 minutes, and 22 seconds ranting about how you hate saurkraut
Beware the BOFH
Fight the Quebec Language Laws for Webpages!
Check out Nasa's Procedure to Follow in the Event That Building 245 is Attacked by Vikings
Looking for Love on the Internet? Sounds like Love@FirstByte
Discover the true meaning of Teletubbies
Make money surfing the web
Spend some time with Raymond, the Amish Comic
8 hours of paperwork - 'nuff said
Check out Stevie's Homepage and let him know how much he sucks
iMac, Therefore I am stupid!
Join the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement
Read through the ShugaShack I Wish... Archives
Customize your Blue Screen Of Death
Virtually Tip Over a Cow
Pack yourself in styrofoam
Order combo #1 from a random Chinese Restaurant
Drink 20 liters of Dr. Pepper
Seek out the Paranormal
Become a Rabbi, then asked yourself if you're Pretty Fly for a Rabbi
Read the ingredients on the wrapper of a Wunderbar
Find your lack of pants disturbing
Get un-addicted to Lip Balm
Get paid to surf the Internet
Punch holes in your 720k floppy disks to turn them into 1.44 meg disks
Tranform your gel-wrist-pad into a snail (Thanks Eric!)
Take a Sanity Test (for reference I am 69.0909090909091% insane. I'm a loony)
Sort forms
Read about famous Net Lore
Keep your health insurance up-to-date
Help test out the new Microsoft keyboard
Go crazy
Wish yourself a Happy Birthday
Destroy the Internet
Warp the Spice Girls
Go bowling with a bunch of friends, and steal a picnic ham from their buffet table (and claim profusely that you didn't steal it)
Crawl the Net
Dub thyself unforgiven ii
Get bubblegum stuck in your hair and try to get it out with peanut butter
Post Post-It© Notes all over your house
Learn vi
Try to figure out what a Dalvian is
Play Worms (Banana attack!)
Wash your car
Listen to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Make sure there's whiskey in your jar
Get root
Save the Rain Forest
Format all your floppy disks
Beam yourself up
Read Something Awful
Check out the aurora borealis in Ottawa
Flip through the channels desperately looking for Macgyver, but instead find In The Heat Of The Night in it's place
Go visit the newly re-designed Seksi.Org
Call Coca-Cola consumer information @ 1-800-438-2653
Want to know if you'll suddenly fall off the Earth? Check out the daily gravity forecast
See zutroy.com at 20,000 hits
Try to grow a bigger ego then Wil
Visit the amazingly cool Bo Duke website
Beware the BOFH 2k
Check out zutroy.com, now with .org power!
Learn how to be an Evil Overlord in 100 easy steps
Apple Macintosh - When do you want to crash today??
View the power of the AT&T Death Star (created by Jeremy McMaster)
Go to A Galaxy Far, Far Away, Where No One Has Gone Before
Check your email from a DOS command prompt
Emulate the web in IE2.0
Go sing karaoke
Read about some Urban Legends
Drink some Jamaican beer (I recommend Red Stripe)
Play Carnage Blender
Shave
Make a fool of yourself on live world-wide-broadcast TV
Say "give me some sugar baby" to a random stranger
Estimate the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
Rip your heart right out of your rib cage with your bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it until you die
Cook a ham
Ignore people who tell you about all the broken links on your webpage
Listen to some Siòbhan
Get unnecessary work done on your car
Go to Mavericks (formerly Crimson Clover) on Thursday night
Spend a few hours daydreaming that you had a trillion dollars
Buy 2 bags of ice for a party and never use them
Go see aLyStEr's recipes
Eat some ice cream
Add some strawberries to your ice cream
Add some blueberries to your ice cream too!
Find out how much is inside?
Steal someone's letters
Figure out "How Far is it?"
Try to guess what my favorite quote is
Hungry for news? Feed yourself
Wear a life preserver to the opera
Go to McDonald's and order fries. Then ask for fries with that.
Introduce yourself as "Flip, the surfing kangaroo" to random strangers
Do a blind taste test between Coke and Pepsi
Compose a symphony
Walk backwards for an entire day
or just go on www.bored.com