I wasn't going to answer this question but then I thought sod it! Why the hell shouldn't I!
Anyway;
I'm really proud of both my online and offline "achievements". I'm especially fulfilled by my online ones the most though because I don't have much of a life outside of the Internet and real "achievements" are hard to come by in my pitiful little world. Because of that sad fact my online "achievements" mean so much more to me. It’s why I’m so alone.
I endlessly brag about them (online and off!) in the vain attempt that it will impress those around me. I have millions of "fans" and "supporters" both here and on 360 and they love me! LOVE ME! (although strangely they do seem to desert me whenever I have an argument with anyone :-( and people keep telling me that they‘re only my “fan“ to see my Q&As but I‘m too stupid to listen and realise that. Silly me!).
My super expanding head, massive ego and megalomaniacal personality blind me to all but my own warped truth and I can show you numerous FACTS to back myself up with. All you have to do is look at how many stars and thumbs up my poorly written, and thought out, garbage questions and answers get. I have a million Best Answers because EVERYONE LOVES ME! (don’t give them to anyone else though because I’ll get mad at you, Grrrrr!).
I even tried telling everyone at my new work place about all these achievements but unfortunately I'm destined only to be a legend in my own lunchtime and a hero that will go unappreciated for all eternity. Sad to say but all my boasting of page views and comments got me for my effort was the sack and a one way ticket to the dole queue.
I'm especially proud of my little orange blanket underneath my name, it makes me feel especially warm and cozy. It's one of the very few loves I have in my empty life. I feel so lonely without it. So lonely in fact that when it runs away from me I feel so bereft that I have to spend the next 96 hours online endlessly tapping away like a Samurai warrior to recapture it (it's the one thing I will never let leave me!). And doing that is the best feeling in the world! It turns me on so much that I almost explode.
Most of all though I especially love my underage fans and their candy pop Internet kisses. They really give me a big hard on. My main hobby is, you should know, chatting to people on the other side of the world in the vain hope that they will LOVE ME too. I do it with a serine smile on my face, a dirty vest adorning my sweaty chest, a pair of s**t-kicker steal toe capped boots on my feet and nothing else but an erection (sometimes I have a lovely pink parasol resting over one shoulder too, it makes me look ever so pretty). Their adoration and my obsession has lead to a life of singledom (alas my lady love was not to be!) however because the only way I will stop chatting them up is if someone rips the keyboard out of my cold dead hands.
I want people to LOVE ME so much but they don't love me in return. It's not my fault that they can't see that being an arrogant, delusional and conceited bully who insanely rants at the world is what makes me the special manboy that I am. Sometimes though because of my desperate need I get so frustrated and, as I have no satisfactory outlet, I need to take it out on people online. There’s one person that I love arguing with so much above all others though, I argue with the knowledge that I can have a massive w**k over what we‘ve said to each other (I‘ve even perfected typing one handed!) both during the argument and afterwards. I truly love him! But he won't return my love. All he does is pick on my favourite players and it makes me cry so hard. I get ever so offended when other people express their opinions, especially him. Really all I want is to be able to LOVE him. If only that cow "Specky" Sarah would stop getting in the way of the LOVE that dare not speak it's name then we could be so wonderfully happy. FACT.
Oh no wait! That ain't me I'm describing, that's someone else. Oops. ;-)