Does anyone have any funny/weird stories?

Question

I love to laugh, i haven't had a good laugh today so i want to hear any funny stories, or anything, something that happened to you, or someone you know, whatever you have. AND, because sharing is caring i have a funny story for you, well, maybe, kind of, depending on how you look at it.

When I was in high school, our basketball team was on their way to the state championship. And our school would take us on a bus to the game. It was a 3 hour drive to get to Austin(Texas) from Dallas. So my best friend(a guy) thought it would be fun to get really drunk before we went. So at school, he would drink vodka out of a water bottle until it was time to leave.

I told him to go to the restroom before we got on the bus, he said he didn't have to go. So we get on the bus, and I say about an hour went by. He said he had to pee real bad. We were in the middle of no where. He asked the bus driver how long until we stopped for a rest and she said that we weren't stopping. So he's crossing his legs extremely tight, like a girl. His eyes are squinting, by this time everyone on the bus is laughing at him, thinking he's going to pee on himself.

The teacher that was going with us told him to just hold it, my in 30 minutes when we come up on a gas station or something we would stop. Well he couldn't wait, he told me to let him sit by the window because he was about to just pee on the bus. I didn't believe him. We switched, by now everyone is wondering what is he about to do.

Well, he actually pees on the bus! And it was a long stream of pee too! Everyone is freaked out & disgusted! The teacher doesn't know what's going on, she asks, "Where's that water coming from on the floor?" We had to put our feet up to keep it from getting on our shoes. All the students know what he did the teacher is still lost as to what's happening.

And five minutes later we find a gas station and stop. People from the other buses that were going knew what happened. The teacher asks him why isn't he getting off the bus. He told her he was fine now. She asks where did that water on the floor come from, we say his bottle wasted. Other kids are saying "I can't believe he peed on the bus." The urine odor is strong, the teacher says, "Alright, what's going on? Whatever you guys are doing, it's not funny. It stinks on this bus, stop playing around." By that time I think she kinda figured it out.

Sorry for the long post!

Answer 1

YA UR POST WAS SOOO LONG I DIDNT EVEN READ IT!!LOL=D ANYWAY I HAVE A FUNNY STORY



ONCE THERE WERE THESE 3 CHINESE GUYS THAT JUST CAME TO AMERICA. THEY DONT SPEAK ENGLISH SO THE 1ST CHINESE GUY SAID "LETS FOLLOW PPL AROUND AND SAY WHAT THEY SAY"( HE SAID IT IN CHINESE) AND THE 2ND AND 3RD CHINESE GUYS SAID OK!

THE 1ST CHINESE GUY HEARD A LITTLE BOY YELL "ME ME I DID I DID IT!!"

THEN THE 2ND CHINESE GUY HEARD A LADY SAY "FORK AND A KNIFE"

AND THEN THE 3RD CHINEASE GUY HEARD SOMEONE SAY "YIPPI!!!"

THEN A GUY WALK UP IN FRONT OF THE 3 GUYS AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT HE JUST KILLS HIMSELF. THEN THE COPS CAME. THE COP SAID "WHO KILLED THIS PERSON?"

THE 1ST CHINEASE GUY SAID"ME ME I DID I DID IT!"

THEN THE COP SAID "WHAT DID YOU KILL HIM WITH?"

THE 2ND CHINEASE GUY SAID "FORK AND KNIFE"

THEN THE COP SAID" WELL U GUYS R GOING TO JAIL"

THEN THE 3RD CHINEASE GUY YELLED "YIPPI!!!"







THIS MADE ME LOL WHEN MY COUSIN TOLD ME THIS!!!

Answer 2

back then I worked for a real big cosmetic company in Germany

One day I received an e-mail from the head of the personnel department. I was surprised as I saw what he was writing.

He described a romantic night with ALL the details.

And he wrote how impatienly he wait for the next date.

But I (and the rest of the company WORLDWIDE ) were only in the cc (carbon copy).

the person in the receiver was the head of the marketing



he mistakenly clicked on the mailing list and the e- mail came to absolutely EVERYONE





both were married (but unfortunaly not with each other)





btw

get your friend some huggies if you EVER travel again ;-)

Answer 3

Haha, thats funny. I also have a bus story I will share.



Well this was last year, for science we were going up to this place in the forest to learn about leaves - fun! And it was during winter so it was very cold, my friend didn't listen to the teachers and she wore a sleeveless top with shorts and trainers. She wore her best clothes even though we were going to get muddy. She only brought a thin cardigan and got in heaps of trouble. (we were supposed to wear long pants, and lots of layers as well as a raincoat, which i thought was silly but when I got to school I could see why we had to bring everything.)



anyways - the teachers went and found some clothes in the lost property that was well suited for where we were going - Bright pink trackpants, a purple top covered in cats (she had to change tops as well because the teachers weren't letting any1 have sleeveless stuff, they thought it was inappropriate for 'young catholic women such as ourselves'! and a black raincoat covered in white paint.



We were running late so she was chucked onto the bus and told that she woould have to be changed by the time we got there. Luckily the bus wasnt full so I gave her a seat to herself so she could get changed. We weren't moving becuase they had to load everyones bags onto the bus and all of this equipment that was going to be used for some activities when we got there.

I gave her my jacket to tie across the seat so nobody could see her and she started getting changed.



It was time when people started arriving at school and there were kids walking into school, and suddenly we heard this person shouting 'look at that naked chick!' everyone on the bus started looking around trying to see what they were talking about. I suddenly looked over at my friend, she was nearly completely naked and there was a huge window down to the seat.

She had bothered so much about making sure nobody on the bus could see her, that she didn't even realise people outside could see her through the window!

everyone was cracking up, it was hilarious! i couldn't stop laughing, I felt really bad for her though, but it was so funny!

Answer 4

well...one day me and my three best pals were at another school for a band thing (yeah we're nerds) and we were just hanging out for 'moral support' since we weren't actually doing anything there when the rest of the kids from our school walked by and were like 'yeah, we're leaving like now' so we all book it through the halls to get our coats and then run outside to find that our bus is not there..turns out it was actually on the other side of the parking lot 'hiding' so we finally make it to the bus and i'm like "oh my god i have to pee so bad" and two of my friends did too..so after forty five minutes of sitting on the bus waiting (no exaggeration) i'm like "screw it i'm going inside to pee!" so me and my two friends run inside to the nearest bathroom, all of us peeing, and one of them says "ah, urination never felt so good" and all of us are just saying ridiculous things and i commented on how when you pulled the toilet paper it came of the roll super fast and i used the exact phrase "usually it takes some force" and then i go to wash my hands and my friends are already standing there but laughing silently and all embarrassed because apparently someone else heard this entire conversation and was in the bathroom with us..it was really funny though..and then on the way home we stopped at taco bell to eat and i looked out the window to see our bus driver, still on the bus, jogging up and down the aisles and then jazz-ercising which just completed that day. sorry about this long post.

Answer 5

At the fudge shop in Monterey, my daughter,Bonnie, and I were standing in line and she picked up a squishy toy that when squeezed the eyes and neck would bulge out (it was a frog to be exact). Well, Bonnie said, "Look mom", and I said, "oh wow" and then I squeezed it and as I did the poor little frog burst open and splattered the gentleman infront of us with this pink flourescent liquid!!!!! He was wearing khaki pants and a white sweater like vest!!! EEeeeek! Some got on Bonnie but she was wearing a black sweat shirt so we couldn't see anything on her. But oh! the poor guy infront of us got soaked with it! I was just beside myself and so embarrassed. My kids in the back of the store saw what happened and turned around and walked away. Yeah. They wanted nothing to do with me. Hahahahaaaa....little bratts.

And finally, after what seemed forever, I approached him and apologized over and over and even offered to buy him some of that expensive fudge. He was super nice and took it well, but still I could see the disappointment on his face. He even said, "sometime stupid things just happen." I bet he really wanted to say, "sometimes you meet stupid pple." Hahahaaa. And boy did I feel so stoopy. Oh! and when I apologized to the cashiers in the store for what I did, they laughed (after the victim left of course) and said they couldn't wait to watch in on the security video!!!! Ahahahaa!

Answer 6

That is what she gets for not stopping and letting him pee in the woods. A funny story is when my grandmother was a baby they wore cloth diapers.Her dad was asleep on the floor and she had a wet diaper that needed to be changed. She was crawling around and she crawled over his face and dragged the wet diaper across his face.

Answer 7

Wellllll,,



Last year, I had to ask a guy out, cause I was dared so I go up to him and ask him out and I was mouthing "noo" and he was like "Oh I thought you were really asking, no." I was like "YESS!!" THen I start jumping around and I ran into a basket ball hoop. O.o



And,

I was running to go kick a soccer ball on the lower schools playground, and I slip and fall in the mud puddle and had to go the whole day with mud crap all over my butt.

Answer 8

I'm sitting on this plane, eating my dinner, when all of a sudden the captain comes on the loudspeaker and tells us that the plane is about to crash land into the mountains. The next thing I know this woman from the front of the plane jumps up from her seat and starts screaming like a lunatic.

"I can't die today! I WON'T die today! I am twenty-seven years old! I have been on countless dates and no one has ever made me feel like a woman! Please, I don't want to die like this! Is there anyone on this airplane that can make me feel like a woman?"



The entire plane went from hysteria to complete silence. Then, from the back of the plane, someone stood up. He was a dark, tall, well-built, handsome man.



"I can make you feel like a woman," was his reply.



He started walking slowly down the isle to the woman, who was now shaking with anticipation. One by one he started unbuttoning his shirt buttons, revealing his rippling stomach muscles. He quickly took his shirt off, slowly reached for her trembling hand, looked in her eyes and said...



"Iron this!"

Answer 9

One time, I fell asleep, and I had a dream that was centered on this green blob that was trying to kill everybody in the desert. Then I randomly started to play piano. Yeah; no joke.

Answer 10

i was in a macdonalds with my cousins and one of my cousins and i went to the restroom to wash our hands...all the sudden this fat male employee slides into the women's restroom yelling WOOOOOOOO and rushes to the stall..he didnt c us standing there...it was so creepy and funny at the same time...my cousin and i looked at each other and ran out the door...it was creepy...

Answer 11

Who could top that one?

Answer 12

no