What do you think of this poem?

Question

Innocence

A turning figure in the pouring rain
A hidden face sheltered from pain
The innocent stand here tonight
And it doesn’t matter if that’s not right.

And unaware, you wouldn’t care
The angry world keeps looking on
Wondering when it’s their turn to be
Innocent, again.

And just a careless figure
Dancing in the rain
You can’t pick up the pieces
You lost along the way
Too little, too many
It’s not easy to find your way
And they don’t belong to you anymore….anyway.

A hidden face covered in pain
Standing behind this window pane
Looking out into the world she’ll never get to see
Keeping still in her constant misery
As silently as she could, possibly

Staring out into the pouring rain
Seeing in a hidden face
The innocence she was never allowed to gain

Answer 1

i really like this one but could you possibly change the order of it instead to:



A hidden face covered in pain

Standing behind this window pane

Looking out into the world she’ll never get to see

Keeping still in her constant misery

As silently as she could, possibly



A turning figure in the pouring rain

A hidden face sheltered from pain

The innocent stand here tonight

And it doesn’t matter if that’s not right.



And unaware, you wouldn’t care

The angry world keeps looking on

Wondering when it’s their turn to be

Innocent, again.



And just a careless figure

Dancing in the rain

You can’t pick up the pieces

You lost along the way

Too little, too many

It’s not easy to find your way

And they don’t belong to you anymore….anyway.



Staring out into the pouring rain

Seeing in a hidden face

The innocence she was never allowed to gain





keep it up!!! thanks for sharing

Answer 2

Sounds like this person has had alot of pain in their life.Don't ever give up on the inner person you are that is one thing no can take from you.Too many sad hateful people in this world anymore.Life is way too short fix what makes you sad and make your life worth while.At the end who you are is what you have aloud life to let you be.

Answer 3

It's trite and sounds like it was written by a high-schooler. So if you're in high school, it's great--keep trying to improve. If not, yikes.

Answer 4

It has a wonderful flow throughout and is very descriptive. Great job if you wrote it. You should submit your poetry to poetry.com- you can enter contests and even win to be published. It may be a nice hobby for you. Thanks for sharing your poem.

Answer 5

Seek professional help.

Answer 6

Beautiful but so sad. I really liked it.

Answer 7

It's really good... continue writing...

Answer 8

it's very good.I've read your poems before. send in some more.

Answer 9

i think it is wonderful. i aasume you wrote it? would make a great song

Answer 10

very nice i write did u write it??

Answer 11

is this a song? if not, it would be a good one!

Answer 12

That's nice... did you write it?

Answer 13

Somebodies been hurt.......great poem!!!!!



Very Pretty.......

Answer 14

did you write it? its pretty good

Answer 15

outstanding

Answer 16

amen to that !

Answer 17

blah blah blah ...thats too much to read!